Hello all,
It's been awhile since I've posted anything. Thank you Gwen for goosing me.
Saturday nights used to be big trouble for me; my first home group was Saturday Night Live in West Trenton, NJ. That was 17+ years ago. I still struggle with life on life's terms. The struggles are different now.
I have a beautiful wife, a healthy growing 12 year old son, a slew of friends; tons of good stuff.
Last night I read a paper from my son's bookbag and it generated a strong emotional response. He wrote that he "hates his house". Another question he had to answer was "if you had three wishes, what would they be?"; one response was he wished we had enough money to fix up our house.
My ego was crushed. I am not a "good enough" provider.(negative, irrational tape) I was able to talk with him and I asked him if he was embarrased about our home. He told me not to take it so personally! ( this 12 year old is often light years ahead of me emotionally )
The program tells me whenever I am upset that means there is something wrong with me. I hate that; probably because it's so true. I love my son so much, he is one of the biggest sources of inspiration. I want to provide for him, I want to be a good example, I relish the time and laughter we share. The closeness I feel with him fills me up.
I recently have volunteered to work with our church's youth group. We had a car wash today. It was fun, I got to know some of the kids and the parents. If I was still drinking; there is no way I would even get my car washed by anyone, let alone try and be a positive example for these kids.
God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
Many times I feel like a baby. Scared, immature, small and helpless... I just want someone to take care of me. I have come to find out, that is God's job. No wonder I get overwhelmed trying to do "everything"; it's impossible!
Thank you God, Thank you Gwen, Thank you Reid... you are my life.
I think I'm gonna keep comin'
All the best,
John
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We can handle life if we look to our Heavenly Father for the wisdom, strength, and direction. And, like John, I get blockaded now and then, but today I had the opportunity to provide my thinking about our program in answering questions by a clergyman. Here it is:
A.A. and Christianity Today: A Reply to a Clergyman’s Questions 9/21/08
Dick B.
1. I came into A.A. on April 23, 1986, having had my last drink two days before. I was a very very sick alcoholic with lots and lots of troubles. I had been the president of the Mill Valley California Community Church, which had become part of UCC. I was also a born again Christian and a Bible student and one who had attended Bible fellowships. I talked in A.A. meetings and to friends a great deal about God and the Bible. Not without flack! I certainly relied on our Heavenly Father, His son, and the Bible for help. But I never heard a word in all the meetings I went to about the Biblical roots, the Bible, or Christ. Then, when I was about three years sober, a young man named John (now dead of alcoholism) had been in Bible fellowships and asked me if I knew that A.A. had come from the Bible. I said I had never heard of such a thing. He suggested I read A.A.’s own DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, which I did. He pointed out that early AAs had wanted to call their society the James Club because the Book of James was their favorite. I found his information and suggestions to be catalysts for research. And all of that started me on a 19 year quest which continues to this day. And see my title, The James Club and the Original A.A. Program’s “Absolute Essentials” (http://dickb.com/Jamesclub.shtml.
2. Just as AAs seldom today talk about the Bible, they talk even less about Dr. Bob’s Bible training and church affiliations—particularly as a youngster. But their literature and Dr. Bob’s talks make mention of his excellent training in the Bible as a youngster in Vermont. He mentioned the number of times he and his family went to church each week. He also mentioned his activity in Christian Endeavor—a society born in the Congregational Church in Williston Vermont and which spread like wildfire to an eventual world-wide membership of four million.. See my title, Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous (http://dickb.com/drbobofaa.shtml). For a number of years I had been conducting seminars on early A.A.’s roots—and for eight years at the Wilson House in East Dorset, Vermont. I had tried to get several people to go to St. Johnsbury and dig out the facts. Finally, my son Ken and I made two extended trips and encountered a gold mine of unreported information—the Fairbanks family and their strong Congregational and YMCA ties, Dr. Bob’s family and their involvement in North Congregational Church, records of their work there and what the church did, Sunday school teachings and records, Christian Endeavor records, YMCA records—and then the history of the Great Awakening of 1875 where the whole community was transformed by revivals and conversions and, out of a population of about 5000, some 1700 made decisions for Christ under the impetus of the YMCA lay leaders, church union meetings, and the six local churches. Also, I had acquired a great deal of Christian Endeavor literature and could see the direct relevance of their principles and practices to those that were incorporated into the early Akron A.A. program. In fact, Tim Eldred as the Executive Director of Christian Endeavor International invited me to speak in Washington, D.C. at the 125th Anniversary of Christian Endeavor, and this furthered my interest and enthusiasm.
3. As to the influence of the “Mainline” church, you can and should consider the following:
(a) New England Congregationalism dominated every aspect of Bill’s training in East Dorset and Manchester and Bob’s training in St. Johnsbury. It was Congregational to the core. And conversions were part of the YMCA, the revivals, and the Congregational church outreach in those days.
(b) The Oxford Group had much less influence than most historians would have you believe. The reason is that A.A. began in Akron, not New York. And the Akron Christian Fellowship was having old fashioned prayer meetings, Bible studies, conversions to Christ, hospitalizations, and outreach to drunks which simply was not characteristic of the Oxford Group. See my titles The Akron Genesis of Alcoholics Anonymous (http://dickb.com/Akron.shtml) and The Oxford Group and Alcoholics Anonymous (http://dickb.com/Oxford.shtml). In fact, the Akron group was called a “clandestine” lodge of the Oxford Group because of its particular thrust and methods.
(c) Nonetheless, when Bill wrote his Big Book three to four years later and published it in 1939, the tables turned. Bill knew far less about the Bible than Dr. Bob. He was much more deeply involved in the Oxford Group, with Buchman, business teams, house parties, Calvary House, Irving Harris, Victor Kitchen, Rowland Hazard, and Sam Shoemaker than Dr. Bob. See my title New Light on Alcoholism: God, Sam Shoemaker, and A.A. (http://dickb.com/newlight.shtml). The people clustered around Frank Buchman and Sam Shoemaker were “Mainline” in roots though seemingly unconventional in their “life-changing” emphasis. The leaders were Episcopalian, Anglican, Dutch Reformed, Presbyterian, and in Buchman’s case Lutheran.
(d) One cannot understand A.A. then or now without understanding the varied and diverse sources—sixteen in all as I count them today. See A New Way Out (http://dickb.com/anewwayout.shtml). The diverse roots are: Bible, Quiet Time, Anne Smith’s Journal, Dr. Bob’s reading and library, Oxford Group, Shoemaker, William James, Carl Jung, William D. Silkworth, Salvation Army, YMCA, Rescue Missions, conversions, Christian Endeavor, New Thought writings, and Richard Peabody.
At first, the major roots seemed to me to be just the Bible, Quiet Time, Anne, reading, Oxford, and Sam. See Turning Point (http://dickb.com/Turning.shtml). But then it became more and more clear that there were at least five major epochs and that each involved different or varied root sources:
(1) The youthful training of Bob and Bill in Vermont which encompassed Bible study, prayer meetings, conversions to Christ, Quiet Hour, love and service—these were primarily from New England Congregationalism, the YMCA, Salvation Army techniques, and Rescue Mission work. See also The Conversion of Bill W. (http://dickb.com/conversion.shtml).
(2) Next came the melding into the simple program at Akron where Bill Wilson brought to the table his own conviction about conversion as a solution (see The Golden Text of A.A., http://dickb.com/goldentext.shtml); his hospitalization experiences with Dr. Silkworth and the Great Physician, and his own conversion at Calvary Rescue Mission. See A New Way In (http://dickb.com/anewayin.shtml), This program arose in the cradle of the Oxford Group events of the early 1930’s but quickly turned into the five point Akron Christian Fellowship program—abstinence, reliance on the Creator and coming to Him through Christ, obedience to God’s will, growth in fellowship through Bible study, prayer, Quiet Time, devotionals and Christian reading, and working with others. Anne Smith’s Journal, with a strong Bible bent and a clear understanding of Oxford Group life-changing ideas, had a great impact. See Anne Smith’s Journal, 1933-1939 (http://dickb.com/annesm.shtml). Henrietta Seiberling’s beliefs and teachings were important in emphasizing the power of God (http://dickb.com/HenriettaSeiberling.shtml). The program achieved an astonishing 75% to 93% success rate among those who really tried (Cured, http://dick.com/cured.shtml) and When Early AAs Were Cured and Why (http://dickb.com/alcoholismcured.shtml). It placed enormous emphasis on the Bible as the Good Book. (http://dickb.com/goodbook.shtml) and The Good Book-Big Book Guidebook (http://dickb.com/guidebook.shtml), old fashioned prayer meetings, conversions, Quiet Hour and meditation, reading Christian literature, and intense work with others..
(c) Oddly, the use of devotionals such as The Upper Room, The Runner’s Bible, The Greatest Thing in the World, Daily Strength for Daily Needs, Abundant Living, The Meaning of Prayer, My Utmost for His Highest seem to have come from a number of influences: (1) “Mother Galbraith” used to bring the Upper Room to Akron meetings, and it became a standby. (2) The Runner’s Bible, Drummond, Glenn Clark, and E. Stanley Jones were largely the product of Dr. Bob’s own reading-spurred perhaps by the Christian Endeavor practice of choosing topics and reading literature. (3) Shoemaker and other Oxford Group writers were prolific in their materials, and these Oxford Group pieces no doubt came from T. Henry Williams’ home where the meetings were held and which at first was a “clandestine” Oxford Group meeting though Williams had been a Sunday School teacher and two churches while his wife had studied to be a Baptist missionary..”Meditation” was a “must” and was called Quiet Time. But it faded away as Bill’s Eleventh Step approach took precedence. See Good Morning: Quiet Time, Morning Watch, Meditation, and Early A.A. (http://dickb.com/goodmorn.shtml).
(4) Oswald Chambers, Glenn Clark, Fosdick, and Jones were popular writers of the day.
4. The changing tides are mapped out in my books Introduction to the Sources and Founding of Alcoholics Anonymous (http://dickb.com/introduction-sources); Real Twelve Step Fellowship History (http://dickb.com/realhistory.shtml); The First Nationwide Alcoholics Anonymous History Conference (http://dickb.com1stAAHistConf.shtml); and Making Known the Biblical History and Roots of Alcoholics Anonymous (http://dickb.com/making.known.shtml). The early program worked well for believers because they believed and tried to stick with God, His Word, resisting temptation, fellowshipping together, and focus on new people. But the influence of a few atheists, (and later) treatment people, historians, psychiatrists, and New Thought took their toll The five resultant phases or epochs, I believe, were these
(a) New England Training of Bob and Bill and Bill’s conversion to Christ
(b) Formulation and development of the Akron program, based primarily on Christian Endeavor principles and practices, hospitalization, conversions to Christ resembling a James 5:16 ceremony, outreach to drunks, reading, fellowship.
(c) Bill’s attempt to write a book that would “sell” and would eliminate all specific traces of the Bible, Quiet Time, Oxford Group, Shoemaker, prayer meetings, and Christian literature. Yet his ideas codified Oxford Group life-changing ideas, drew on William James and his “higher power,” drew on Jung and his “conversion,” drew on Silkworth and his “disease” concept (yet leaving Silkworth’s solid convictions about Jesus Christ unmentioned), drew on Peabody and his “no cure” thesis, picked up New Thought language about Czar of the Universe, etc., and changed conversion to “spiritual experience.” Bill and his partner Hank had their eye on book sales and profits. Bill took his “theology” largely from Sam Shoemaker and, in fact, asked Sam to write the Twelve Steps (which Sam did not do).
(d) The period immediately following 1939 and much altered during Bill’s deep depression of 12 years, Dr. Bob’s focus on Akron, and the emergence of new writings, writers, and workers to fill the gap. The new alterations came from Clarence Snyder, Sister Ignatia, Father Ed Dowling, S.J., Father Ralph Pfau, Richmond Walker, Ed Webster, and then Dr. Bob’s own last stand with the AA of Akron Pamphlets
(e) The period that began after Dr. Bob’s death, was heavily influenced by the activity and writing of the two Jesuit priests (Father John C. Ford, S.J., and Father Ed Dowling, S.J.), and turned the tide toward “spiritual” and left “religion” outside of A.A. from their perspective and by their seeming design.
5. If herding alcoholics into support groups, emphasizing the changing of old habits and friends, stressing abstinence, catalyzing outreach to others, and talking about “spirituality” can be deemed “positive,” the answer is yes. But Jim Houck of the Oxford Group and A.A. endorsed one of my books, saying: “Take God out of A.A., and you have nothing.” Today, there are still tens of thousands in A.A. who believe in God. Roman Catholics are a large chunk. Their RC stance seems to call for going to church for religion and to A.A. for alcoholism, however dubious and bizarre the reasoning.. Other Christian critics in and out of A.A. are claiming A.A. is not “of the Lord” and should not be attended. There are now thousands of AAs who never heard anything about their history, the Bible, Dr. Bob, the original program; and the best of these are “Big Book Thumpers.” That focus is wholesome, and the Big Book—properly interpreted—had its roots in the Bible (http://dickb.com/goodbook.shtml). But it incorporated fuzzy New Thought words, unaccredited Bible language, no cure thinking, and Oxford Group practices. But the proliferation of “higher powers,” criticism of religion, Christian intimidation and responding silence, growth of New Age and New Thought as well as atheism and idolatry provide a tough challenge for a newcomer. In a very real sense, he has these choices: Leave A.A. because it is too religious. Leave A.A. because it is not Christian enough. Don’t leave A.A. and don’t talk about God or Christ or the Bible. Change A.A.’s Steps so they are or look Christian. Join outside Christian groups. Get drunk. The current facts are that A.A.’s original seventy-five to ninety-three percent success rate has dropped to a disputed one to five percent, or at least no more than twenty-five percent. A.A. has stopped growing. There are still one million American AAs and perhaps eighteen million American drunks. A.A. cannot come to terms with the fact that most of its members are both alcoholics and addicts but are urged not to mention anything but alcohol. A.A. is diverse in belief and population today, not monolithic. A.A. is compulsory for many, not voluntary. A.A. suffers increasingly from “leadership” rigidity and enforcement thinking. A.A. in a sense competes with therapy, treatment programs, religious programs, and support groups of other types. But it is still vibrant, supportive, enthusiastic, and almost ever-present. My view is that I got sober in A.A. I loved its support and activities. I loved helping others. I’ve found no appealing alternative. At least not one that offers day-in-day out continuous hands-on help and outreach to the suffering newcomer. I believe it’s possible to be a Christian, a Bible student, a religious person, and an AA—and to enjoy sobriety in the comfort of the Everlasting Arms.. I believe that is what I am – twenty-two years to the good at age 83.
6. Justification by faith. That is a question that should be addressed to you. Your question did send me scurrying to the Bible and Romans 10:9 as well as John 3:16 and 1 John 1. But it also turned me to some of my reading in Schaff, Harnack, the New Bible Dictionary, and the disputes with Universalists in Dr. Bob’s days. The theology is not something I am qualified to discuss. I just go by the Bible and the justification, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption that are covered, for example, in Galatians 2:20, 3:11-14, 26. The newcomer to A.A. is filled with guilt, fear, shame, anxiety, confusion, and worldly problems. For me, these need to be filled with standing as a child of the living Creator and a renewed mind walk. The facts of the early program seem to be these: (1) You voluntarily confess Jesus as Lord and Saviour, believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. Dr. Bob must have done that in North Congregational Church. Bill at least did that at Calvary Rescue Mission. And early AAs did it upstairs at T. Henry’s house. (2) You are born again of the spirit of God. (3) By God’s grace, you are saved from the wrath, acquitted of your sins past, and enabled to ask forgiveness for deeds thereafter. (4) What you reap is another matter depending on fellowship—walking by the spirit, not by the flesh. And that choice is tough. But to attempt an injection of theological justification into the early program is not for me except to say that Bob, Anne, and the Akron folk read and studied the Bible daily, they led newcomers to acceptance of Christ, and they endeavored to stay in fellowship with God. Probably none of these precepts could be declared universal in today’s recovery groups.
7. E. Stanley Jones and Oswald Chambers expressed the relationship between the gift of the Holy Spirit and the precepts of the sermon on the mount in different ways. One said the sermon without the Holy Spirit is spiritual powwow. The other said that the Holy Spirit without the sermon leaves work to be done and hence something missing. One might equate that with 1 Cor. 13. “Faith without works” is used in the Big Book out of context. James is deep into other matters such as temptation, asking wisdom of God, being a doer of the Word and not just a hearer, love thy neighbor, submission to God and resisting the devil, seeking help when sick, confessing faults one to another, and the efficacy of prayer. I truly believe that the pioneers STUDIED the three segments lots and did not merely hang on such ideas as “faith without works.” The emphasis on the three segments was very very substantial, and it explains the loose references to each that are embodied in the Big Book.
8. There are many 12 Step groups that are returning to the early A.A. emphasis on Bible study, prayer, asking for guidance, Quiet Time, reading James and the other segments, reading Christian literature, using Christian devotionals, and looking for the roots of the Steps. See By the Power of God (http://dickb.com/powerofgod.shtml); The Books Early AAs Read (http:///dickb.com/bks-read.shtml); Utilizing Early A.A.’s Spiritual Roots (http://dickb.com/earlyaaroots.shtml); and Twelve Steps for You (http://dickb.com/12StepsforYou.shtml). There is emerging recognition that the phony and nonsense gods of recovery talk are detours from truth, recovery, and cure. See God and Alcoholism (http://dickb.com/Godandalcoholism) and Why Early A.A. Succeeded (http://dckb.com/aabiblestudy.shtml). There are many groups today in A.A. who are conducting Bible/Big Book study groups. Not a day goes by that I don’t receive several phone calls or emails from people wanting to know where to begin. In the years past, I have: (a) conducted 8 A.A. history weekend seminars at the Wilson House in Vermont. (b) conducted six A.A. history conferences (c) spoken by invitation at annual conferences of Alcoholics Victorious, Celebrate Recovery founders, Overcomers Outreach, Inc., The Net Ministries in Florida, the Tampa Bay Clean and Sober Conference, YWAM, City Team Ministries, Catholic and A.A. spiritual retreats, and many Clarence Snyder spiritual retreats for AAs and their families. I believe there is an immense hunger for books, for articles, for talks, for teachers, for leadership, for support, for guidance, and for encouragement WITHIN 12 Step Groups. My 33 published titles and four websites endeavor to help feed the hungry (http://www.dickb.com/index.shtml; http://www.dickb-blog.com; http://DrBob.info; and http://freedomranchmaui.org.) These contain articles, archives, links, resources, audio talks, radio talks, tributes, and recommendations.
9. Your generous concern and stated position are music to my ears. I deeply hope that you can help fund the free distribution of my books to clergy, Christians, churches, sober clubs, prisons, and the like. Universalism, secularism, idolatry, sexual quests, entertaining talks, and distorted historical information are buttressing the cry of science, philosophy, pharmacology, imprisonment, and psychology for some easier, softer solution that doesn’t require coming to the Lord Jesus Christ, relying on God’s Word, obeying His will, and reaching out to others in love and service. Onward and upward.
Gloria Deo
dickb@dickb.com; 808 874 4876; PO Box 837, Kihei, HI 96753-0837
I understand how you feel wanting to be a good role model for your child. I feel the same way.
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